As you start reading Tarot cards, it is very natural that you start with your reading for your friends and relatives. Since you are close to them, reading for your friends and relatives (especially when you start out) can provide a supportive environment for you to hone your Tarot card reading skills.
However, it is just this closeness that can often cause doubts to spring up in your mind. Today, lets talk about the different issues that can crop up while reading Tarot cards for your friends and relatives, and how you can handle such scenarios.
Starting to read the Tarot cards can often be a very touch-and-go process for many of us. It is at this time that we are actually starting to ‘listen to’ and ‘trust’ our intuition. It is also at this point where we are trying to ‘find our voice’ as a Tarot card reader.
Essentially, this is the time when we are building up our self-confidence as Tarot card readers.
I had a similar experience as well.
When I first began reading Tarot cards, I wanted to have a lot of practice. So I started reading Tarot cards for my friends. Naturally, we ended up having a lot of fun.
But this was also the point where a lot of doubts started creeping in.
“But, You Already Knew This!”
These were the exact words that one of my friends uttered when I did a reading for her. And she was right.
As a close friend of mine, I already knew what was going on in her life. So when the same stuff popped up in my reading, she wasn’t caught by surprise, or impressed, or even mildly interested.[singlepic id=16 w=320 h=240 float=center]
So what was new in the reading anyway?
More Details, More Information, More Guidance
I looked at the cards that she had drawn. I mean, I really looked at them. Each card did tell me the story – which I already knew. But along with the story, each card was also telling me something more in terms of guidance.
As we all know, the cards do describe situations. But the deeper you look, you start seeing beyond the mundane meanings, and discover the deeper guidance. That’s when I had my ‘Aha’ moment.
I could now tell her more stuff – more detailed information and more importantly, guide her about why and how the situations had actually come to pass, and what she could learn from them, and how she could improve upon these situations and make it better.
“OMG…How Did You Know That?”
Sometimes, you end up reading for someone who is an acquaintance. This is a person who could become a good friend over a period of time. Or it could also be a relative who probably doesn’t tell you every single thing that goes on in her life. [singlepic id=17 w=320 h=240 float=center]
These are one of those awkward reading situations, where you happen to stumble onto something they probably didn’t want to share with you, yet.
How do you handle this?
Reassurance. Confidentiality. Guidance (Again!)
Well, this is something I learnt from experience. When such stuff happens, I reassure them that the information from this reading is completely confidential. Plus I tell them about how I always forget what I hear and say during readings. And then, I gently bring them back to the reading and say, “Well, now that the cards have opened up, lets see what guidance they have to give you…” – and proceed with the reading.
Practice Makes Perfect
Stuff like this does happen to us when we read cards for friends and relatives. As time goes by, it becomes easy to go straight to the guidance that the cards are offering – thus avoiding the kind of statements I mentioned before. But till you get to that point, it helps to reassure your friend / relative that you do keep the information confidential and tell them about the guidance that the cards are providing about the situation.
Becoming Non-Judgmental
I also discovered that reading Tarot cards for friends and relatives helped me become a more non-judgmental person.
As a Tarot card reader, I always think of myself as an interpreter: since I know the language of the cards and they don’t, I decipher the code and share the information with them. And therefore, it doesn’t make sense for me to pass judgment on what I see in the cards.[singlepic id=15 w=240 h=135 float=right]
In fact, many a times, the cards have come up with the kind of guidance that I personally wouldn’t normally think of suggesting to my friends. These are the times when I just tell my friends what the cards are saying, and keep my personal opinions to myself.
Disclosure
I also discovered that it helps to tell my friends that I am a different person when I am their friend, and a totally different person when I am doing a reading for them. When I am their friend, I am just being a friend. But when I am doing a reading, it is a different part of my personality that they are dealing with. This way, they know whom they are dealing with, and can feel comfortable around me in either scenario.
Putting a Distance. Developing Objectivity
[singlepic id=18 w=180 h=320 float=left]This is kind of similar to when you read Tarot cards for yourself. Reading for friends while remaining non-judgmental, helps you develop a sense of objectivity. I have discovered that it helps to put a distance – when you read the Tarot cards for your friends, approach it with a feeling that you are now someone else, and are in a position to offer more guidance than you possibly could in the role of a regular friend.
With the cards at your side, now you have more information at hand, and can offer a better, a different insight into the situations that the both of you already know about. Naturally, this process will help you develop an objective approach towards your readings, and will help create a more informative reading experience for your friend.
You Live, You Learn
As time goes by and you read for more and more of your friends and relatives, you do learn how to handle such scenarios. Different life experiences teach you different life lessons. In a similar vein, reading for your friends can teach you the different ways in which you can handle their doubts and revelations as and when they come up. All you have to do as a Tarot card reader is remain open to all kinds of questions, remain non-judgmental and reassuring, and (most importantly) have a sense of humor.
Your Turn…
What are your experiences while reading for friends and relatives? Have you faced such questions and situations? How did you handle them? Did your friends / relatives have some other comments for you? How did you handle those comments?
Lets talk about it in the comments section below.
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How do you go about reading for someone else? I know there are certain set ups for the cards and such but, do you have them ask the questions in their head? Do you shuffle the cards, or do they? I guess I’m just asking for a simple guide to reading the cards for anyone else in general.
Different readers have different ways in which they do their readings. Basically, this is just what they feel comfortable with. Some of them prefer that no one touch their cards – and this case they pull out cards for their clients themselves. Other readers have no issues with clients pulling out the cards; some readers are even ok if the clients shuffle the decks as well before pulling out the cards. Some readers prefer making a fan of the cards and then pulling the cards, some like to take cards from the top and lay them down in the spread. In short – go with what makes you feel good and ok.
As for asking the question – I shuffle the cards, hold the deck in my hand and ask the question – sometimes in my head, sometimes out loud, and the make the fan… Same as before, you can go with a method that makes sense to you and feels right for you.
The best part about Tarot is that the “rules” such as they are, are flexible. These are the rituals that will get you in the frame of mind where you can focus on the messages from the cards + the messages from your intuition and do the reading more effectively.
Hope this helps…
M
This article is really excellent & it will help people who are in this profession & also those who wish to come in this profession. I would definitely appreciate your writing skills, really great !!
Hey Abhay,
Thanks so much for your comments…
I have just tried to put in my experiences and thoughts… I suppose, all of us (people in our profession) go through such issues, right? And we all learn after going through some tough times etc. So I just put these thoughts into my blog, hoping people will read and it will help them…